Relationship Confidence ~ Have you got it?

Self-confidence leads to relationship confidence

You bring your whole self to every experience you have; your thoughts, feelings and behaviour exist simultaneously; they are interrelated and affect each other.  If your thoughts about yourself are validating and you believe that you are worthy then you will feel positive about yourself and your behaviour will be confident and effective – you will be a person who makes things happen.  Self-belief is at the very heart of self-confidence and without it you will feel negative and insecure which will lead to poor and ineffective behaviour.

Wherever you go you take yourself and this is never so obvious as when you enter a relationship.  Whatever the initial sexual chemistry between you, the quality of your relationship will depend exactly upon your levels of personal self-confidence.  However much you fancy him it will not work unless you both think, feel and act confidently.

  • When you think confidently you believe in yourself and trust your instincts. You know that you deserve to be treated with the utmost respect and you have a positive and optimistic approach to your relationship.  You are open to changes and you think that you both have an equally important role in your partnership.  You know what you want from the relationship.
  • When you are feeling confident you have a strong sense of inner stability and security. You are in touch with your emotions and are not afraid to show your partner that you care.  You love to give and receive spontaneous acts of affection and you expect to be appreciated. 
  • When you act confidently you are dependable and reliable and you can be decisive and effective. You are not afraid to take risks and you have good open communication skills.  You expect your partner to be trustworthy and to share his thoughts and feelings with you.

A truly intimate relationship is one where both partners have the confidence to be themselves and feel free to disclose their pain as well as their pleasure.  If either partner is low in self-confidence there will be communication and behavioural problems within the relationship and it is unlikely to be a success. 

Cast your mind back to any previous relationships that haven’t worked out.  Did you both enter the partnership with a healthy degree of self-confidence?   If not, can you see how this lack was at the root of the problems that led to the breakdown of the relationship?

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