1 Negative thinking. You know that this is always bad news. As soon as you indulge in this you lose your calm self-assuredness and begin to sound like a loser, not a good image! When you catch yourself wallowing around in the negative cycle of defeat just ask yourself, ‘Do I really want to be in this state? Am I sounding and looking good.’ This should be enough to zap you out of your pessimistic mind-set. Your thoughts are only as real as the energy you give to them. Get positive, get charismatic, get happy and get a life!

2 Blaming others. This really puts people off you as well as cutting you off from your own creative powers. Confident people are high in ‘can-do’ energy because they take total responsibility for their personal circumstances. Look at it this way: if someone else is to blame for the position you find yourself in then you are left helplessly waiting for them to act on your behalf. Blaming energy is unattractive and creates all-lose situations.

3 Trying to be like someone else. This is such a tiring and futile exercise. Every time you wish you look like ……..or want to be like…….., you are denying your own specialness. It’s OK to have role models but it’s not OK to be continually dissatisfied with what you are and what you have to offer. Decide to become a first rate version of yourself and life will get so much simpler and more interesting. When you have the confidence to be yourself you no longer feel the need to compete with others to prove that you are worthy. Believe me, you are worth it, just the way you are.

4 Having regrets. So you made a mistake and you wish you hadn’t! But if there is nothing you can do about it now at least accept this one benefit: Learn from it. One of the most obvious features of a confident person is their ability to learn from personal faults and then to let go of them. If you are living in the past you are in the wrong time zone; shake off those cobwebs and get into the present moment, this is where the real powerful action is.

5 Feeling resentment. This ties up so much of your energy in a useless and totally negative activity. If you are feeling resentful of anyone at the moment just stop and look at it logically. What good are you doing? What harm are you doing to yourself? Every time you have an angry thought about another person you increase your bitterness quotient and that is all that you do. You don’t need me to tell you that anger and sourness will always make the wrong impact.

6 Being critical. Whether you are self-critical or are judging others you will diminish yourself. Have you noticed how the most unpopular people are the most critical? You cannot and will not show yourself off to advantage if you are looking for the worst in yourself or in others. If you know that you are inclined to do this, stop immediately. When you are tempted to say something negative about another person just don’t go there. As my dad says, ‘If you can’t find anything nice to say about someone then don’t say anything.’

Stop all energy draining activities and you will find that your energy levels will shoot up; you will also feel lighter and brighter and more optimistic. As your electromagnetic energy increases you will notice that you are attracting new and interesting people and opportunities, and you will find it easier to resolve personal difficulties.

Take a moment here to ‘tune into’ your personal energy field. Imagine that your aura is shining bright and crackling with electricity. Feel the energy surrounding your physical body and become aware of it as you move about your daily business. You take your vibrations with you wherever you go so make sure they are good vibrations!

Extracted from my book, The Self-Esteem Coach by Lynda Field

I offer telephone or Skype coaching~ check out my coaching packages at                       


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